Melody of the Soul

Here's the newest melody from my soul in black and white contrast; pouring out of a mind / soul / body that has experienced deeply both the "black" and now the "white". Our society, culture and American-motto tells us to live the race and pace of the first verse. I'd been living that verse since I was younger than 10. In fact, it was a way of living for me ... everyone needs and enjoys the person who can accomplish a lot. Less work for you, right? Well, that became my identity. There was one problem, my soul was suffocating. I felt like everyone needed me, but no one wanted me. I thought marriage was going to solve this dilemma - two would be better than one and could lighten my load. This was not the case for our marriage for 6 years and for reasons deeply rooted in how we both grew up. I began to do even more, and more, and more. The more time went on I began doing life on my own abilities and strength. My body tired, my soul sucked dry, my marriage failing ... until Mercy stepped in and rescued our ugly little selves from a pit of muck and mire. My rescuing wasn't a pretty sight - a story of very destructive sin. (I'll share more on this later) Alas, beauty has come forth in ways I could not foresee - which is the testimony of the second part. I've learned the result of the Spirit being alive and well inside of me is CALMNESS. I am a passionate and poignant lady and in the midst of being those things the Lord gives me CALMNESS from the inside out in order to speak and live with passion and poignancy (is that a word?).

Enjoy these lyrics. As soon as we get settled I'd love to share with you the actual song. You'll have to practice some patience because I have no idea how long that'll be!

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Merry-go-round of chaos, confusion
Just keep going the busier the better
Don't look back, you won't find the answers
Dead locked and nothing will be better
Trudge away, child, toiling is the answer
Spinning faster will create momentum
Bring more effort, don't be selfish
If you feel crazy it's all in your head
Slowing down is only being lazy
Don't trust those thoughts of your soul

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I'm ready to believe again, for me
Let go of bitterness, in exchange for love
Ready to run free again, but not alone
I'm not alone
We're not alone
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It's time to feel beautiful, because I do
Not need anything, for I am filled
Embrace honesty, there is nothing to hide
There's freedom in nothing to hide
and everything to give
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I can see past my pain, because I'm healing
Not isolate, for I'm secure
Devote to learning, because there I find
In Jesus I can heal and be secure
Through Jesus we can heal and be secure
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Thanks for reading a smidgen of my novel. If it's too messy for ya you won't hurt my feelings by quietly closing out your browser and traveling to some easy reading. I'm not too good at fluff.